The Instructions

  1. The pieces of hardware necessary for duplicating Neal's coffee are: GE water heater, Braun coffee grinder, empty coffee pot, 6 cup Melitta filter holder crusted with 1000 pots of residue, unrecycled paper coffee filter, headless drip coffee maker (used as a warmer) and one power strip (not belonging to Marc Michelsen).
  2. Fill the water heater at the lounge sink. Fill it quite full. You can't put all the water into the coffee pot but some is used for rinsing the pot, filter holder and your cups after boiling.
  3. Plug in the water heater into the power strip in room 425. The appropriate power strip is the one that does not belong to Marc Michelsen.
  4. While the coffee is heating you can prepare the beans. Fill the grinder right to the top, level with the yellow rim. This is a unit of volume is called a grinder and it is the appropriate amount for an afternoon pot. Morning pots are often a grinder and a half and as much as two grinders for a Monday morning pot or for New Year's Day.
  5. Grind the beans continuously for 20 to 30 seconds, shaking or tapping the side to force the large bean fragments back to the center to allow the blades to properly pulverize them.
  6. As the water nears boiling rinse the pot, the filter holder and any cups.
  7. Make folds on the filter right at the seam lines so that the filter will conform more closely to the filter holder's shape and insert the filter into the filter holder.
  8. Place the filter holder atop the pot.
  9. Dump the virgin grounds into the filter and shake gently to level the surface of the grounds.
  10. Grind any additional beans necessary and add those grounds.
  11. Just as the water is about to boil over onto the counter, unplug the heater and begin to pour the water. Add just a few inches of water at first and set the heater back down.
  12. Pick up the filter holder by the ring and gently swirl and agitate it to wet all the grounds, then replace the filter on the pot. While swirling aim the stream emanating from the bottom of the filter holder into either the pot or the cup of some lucky recipient.
  13. Pour more hot water into the filter holder until it is full. Repeat till the pot is full, being careful not to over fill.
  14. Turn on the warmer by jamming the switch to the right and remember to jam it back to the left when the pot is empty (or nearly so) and at the end of the day.